"I wish I knew her better, but who really knows her anyway"

Bingo.

So I've pretty much had it with guns. Twice in one week, and then Christine experienced one more today. Seriously? I still think people should stop being such pussy wussy bitches and actually fight instead of simply pulling a fucking trigger. Come on.


I'm in the apartment alone tonight....and honestly it's pretty nice. I wouldn't mind company of course, but I'm okay right now. And thats awesome.


I'm missing and hating it.
But thats the thing with me. I'm a walking contradiction.
Yes. No. Yes.


I'm feeling a rant coming so this might be a two post night.

EDIT

Okay I just saw a comercial were a mom was explaining to her 4ish year old daughter that their "nan" died, and it was a drug comercial. So everyone make sure your talk to your small children about drugs. Hey honey, can you clean up your barbies? Oh and by the way , don't do crack, your face gets icky.

Right.

"You think this is bad, you should see it up here"-K.V.

Constant conflict of personal existence. I find myself constantly questioning who I am to others. I know myself. I know myself quite well actually, yet I don't know if I am who I am to you and is that the same me as I am to me? Nope. I know my flaws. I know my strengths. I know my fears and who I've always wanted to be. But have I achieved that? The things people get me or say to me or say reminded them of me, illustrates a completely different person than I truly am, yet I can see how they'd gather that illusion. I know my flaws. I wonder if people speak of them when I'm not there. My true flaws. Half the time opinions aren't factual of my real self. Unattractive opinions that is. Well, any opinions that is. I suppose I've constructed a mystery. A puzzle if you will. I didn't start this consciously that much I can tell you. But it's doubtful that any has caught on fully. I know my flaws. And I'm not trying to hide it so much. I've given off clues, yet maybe I'm speaking things in another language. One that no one understands but me. How terribly tragic would that be. Never being figured out? The language only one knew? How terribly lonely. I know my flaws and more....

This is the story of the boys who loed you who love you know and loved you then.

And some were sweet and some were cold and snuffed you, and some just layed around in bed.
And some they crumbled you straight to your knees, did it cruel did it tenderly.
Some had crawled they're way into your heart, to rend your ventricles apart.
This is the story of the boys who loved you.
This is the story of your red right ankle.

KT and my favorite part of this song.


I just sang KT to sleep, and its probably the best thing I've done in a while...

There's a distinct look, late at night, that you can't see whenever you want...it just comes.

Streetlights on the snow, empty streets...so simple

Cars have made some neat patterns in the street

A little snow covered scooter scrunched between big cars

Dull lit sky

Candles

Big empty bed

Laying the wrong way


It's pretty alright